Your 12 hourly digest for Very Smart Brothas

Very Smart Brothas

Tales From The Hood Part 2 Jul 22nd 2013, 04:00, by Panama Jackson Y’all gon’ have to excuse my neighbor James. I’m Black. I figured since Damon started off his last post that way I should do the same. I wonder how many times I’ve actually started off with that statement. It could easily be 50. Get rich or die trying.  Speaking of getting rich… A little over a year ago I bought a house. I purchased in the part of DC that is both the poorest and Blackest part of the city. That is neither hyperbole or speculation. That’s a fact, Jack. Not that my neighborhood looks or feels destitute. In fact, it doesn’t seem like it at all. People often visit my home and tell me that its impossible that I live in the hood. Which, of course, I then have to remind said individuals that the hood has nothing to do with how the neighborhood looks but everything to do with who lives there. Message.Well given where I live and what it looks like when it does what it do, I’ve been a witness to and a party to quite a few interesting observations over the past year. Namely, I’ve seen some sh*t I can’t unsee and laughed at some things I’m not sure were actually funny. So in the spirit of information sharing and universal social education, I figured I’d share and discuss a few of those things I’ve seen or noticed. Such as…1. For folks allegedly without much, these folks create an astounding amount of trashMy trash pick up comes every Friday morning. I usually wheel my trash bins out with a few trash bags full. Not my neighbors. I recognize that some folks have upwards of 7 or 8 people living a household but the amount of trash bags accumulated in a week is insane. We’re talking 10 to 20 bags of trash. No joke. Not to mention how much furniture people are tossing weekly. I’ve seen couches, mattresses, desks, bookcases, coffee tables, shelves, chairs, etc. ON A WEEKLY BASIS. Now granted, trash is trash. But it just seems like each of my neighbors has about 5 to 6 too many trash bags considering we get weekly pickup. I started to try to take a picture of this one day but I realized I live next to these folks and well, no need for a Hatfield – McCoy situation over alleged trash speculating. 2. Black people are some of the most patient and persistent individuals on the planet A few weeks ago there was the prospect of a fight lingering between one of my neighbors kids and some kids from elsewhere that literally took place over a 3 day span. Police were involved, but these groups of kids sat out side waiting for somebody to start the beef for a solid 72 hours. And I’m not even joking. These jokers literally attempted to wait each other out. A Senate filibuster has jack sh*t on Black folks really wanting to fight. 3. The 4th of July is still going onAs of yesterday, fireworks displays were still occurring. And not sparklers. Heavens no. Real, high quality, audience spectacle worthy fireworks shows are still taking place. Like you could totes come thru and chill with a blanket on a random Tuesday and possibly believe its July 4th. Don’t do that by the way. 4. Some folks just are inconsiderate as hellThis is one general life thing as well clearly, but you ever almost run over somebody in a parking lot then get mad at them for not immediately accepting your “my bad”? Oh…that’s just me? Well that type of stuff happens daily ’round here. We gettin’ money ’round here. See me comin’ ’round the bend when I pull into my alley and somebody is blocking the whole alley preventing me from getting to my house…but looking at me like I’m crazy when I ask them to move their car. Or the time I got home and some kids were sitting on my porch then looked at me crazy for trying to walk into my house. I know them now. We cool, I got them ice cream once.5. It’s never too late to get ice creamLiterally as I’m typing this, at almost 10pm on a Sunday night, the ice cream man just drove by selling ice cream. And possibly cocaine. But definitely ice cream.All that to say, stereotypically, my neighborhood a stereotype. Cough up a lung, where I’m from, SE son…ain’t nothin’ nice.It’s Monday, we’re going to have a good week, trust me…what’s your neighborhood like? Let’s make this another one of those getting to know you posts. Tell us about where you’re from. F*ck with me, you know I got it.-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. NEXT LIFETIME aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

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Your 12 hourly digest for Very Smart Brothas

Very Smart Brothas

10 Reasons Why I'm Blacker Than You Jul 19th 2013, 04:16, by The Champ I’m Black. I know, I know, I know. It’s quite a surprise. I carry an oversized beige murse attache. If you look inside this oversized beige murse attache right now, you will find a book. (Which you know is some White shit cause niggas can’t read.) I live in Pittsburgh. I prefer mayo to Miracle Whip. I’ve never really been a huge fan of chicken. (I like it, but I think it’s slightly overrated.) Shit, I even know my dad. But, lo and behold, aside from that translucent stage I went through for the first two weeks of my life when I vaguely resembled the Pale Man from Pan’s Labyrinth, I’ve been Black for the majority of my time on Earth. Lest I forget, I receive occasional conspicuous reminders of this Blackness. One occurred a few weeks ago, after I completed a half hour stretch that would definitely at least make honorable mention in a nationwide competition for the “Unnecessarily Blackest Half-Hour Stretch.” To wit, I ate a couple pieces of fried chicken (I know) and washed it down with a couple red Little Hugs I took from the fellowship hall of a Baptist church the day before. When finished, I walked my girlfriend’s pitbull, and when I got back inside, I called my parents and we spoke for 15 minutes about watermelon. Adding Blackness to injury, I had on a wifebeater, basketball shorts, and Tims (Didn’t feel like going upstairs to get some sneakers), and the couches in my living room—including the couch I happened to be sitting on while eating fried chicken and drinking Little Hugs—are black leather. Basically, not only am I Black, I’m actually one of the Blackest people you’ll ever meet. This Blackness was reiterated this week with my glee over the BlackBuzzFeed hashtag—where Black Twitter users parodied Buzz Feed by “repurposing it for a Black audience.” I usually don’t take part in Black Twitter’s daily hashtag orgies, but this time I couldn’t resist the urge to show off my shiny old Blackness, tweeting about any and everything from dating practices… “Come Through” And 8 More Lazy Date Suggestions You’ll Accept If You Like Him Enough #BlackBuzzfeed …to Morgan Freeman… 1997, And 24 More Years That Morgan Freeman Has Been Exactly 76 Years Old #BlackBuzzfeed Still don’t believe I’m Blacker than you? Ok. Here’s why you should. 1. I came thisclose to just making “Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Niggaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!” an entire post after the Heat won the championship. (I seriously had to talk myself out of it.) 2. I’ve had the exact same hair cut for 18 years. Why? Because I’m Black, and Blackness makes you lazy. 3. I still refuse to do anything other than well-done. Basically, you need to char my meat. The only pink things I trust are Pepto Bismol and Lil Kim. 4. I’m a grown-ass man, and I still occasionally go grocery shopping in my parent’s fridge. (This will also be used on next week’s list: “10 Reasons Why I’m Broker Than You”) 5. I always recycle my cup at Panera Bread. And, by “recycle” I mean “I walk out with the cup, save it in my car, and use it again the next three or four times I go so I won’t have to buy a new drink.” (This will also be used on next week’s list: “10 Reasons Why I’m Broker Than You”) 6. I still own a pair of Karl Kani jeans. And Iceberg. And Wu-Wear fatigues. I don’t actually wear any of this stuff anymore. But, the high top fade came back, so who knows when I might need to start rocking my Clarks again. 7. I put salt on apples, watermelon, and cantaloupe. (If you think this is bad, I have an uncle who puts salt on bacon) 8. In college, I maxed out a credit card to buy an Avirex. Three weeks later, I traded the Avirex for a gold chain. I am not making any of this up. 9. I’ve been to Youngstown, Ohio. Multiple times. And (obviously) survived each time! (This really could have been the only thing on the list) 10. Last week, my girl jokingly suggested to me that if we had four kids, we should name them Ebony, Essence, Jet, and Black Enterprise. I don’t think it’s a bad idea. Ok. I might be willing to concede I’m not the Blackest person reading this, but I need to be convinced. If you’re up to it, explain exactly why you’re Blacker than me.  (Non-Black people can play, too. Just explain why you’re the Whitest, or the Hispanic-est, or the Asianest person alive. We’re all family here.) —Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

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Your 12 hourly digest for Very Smart Brothas

Very Smart Brothas

Why Praising Someone For Their Brain Is Just As "Shallow" As Praising Them For Their Beauty Jul 18th 2013, 04:34, by The Champ “What’s wrong?” “I know you were online when I tweeted that story about Jason Kidd. Why didn’t you retweet me?” While it was generally well-received, yesterday’s guest post from Chris E. garnered some pretty pointed criticism. Some I anticipated (a young and attractive newlywed making any complaint whatsoever about married life is going to feel some pushback). And, some caught me by surprise. I had no idea that some people think that wanting some form of validation from the opposite sex—and feeling weirded out when it’s not there—made a person (at best) insecure or even (at worst) mentally ill. This left me with two conclusions: 1. VSB has somehow managed to collect some of the most grounded, unflappable, and self-assured men and women who have ever existed.  Or… 2. Some of you are full of shit.  While I (obviously) can’t speak for everyone, I think we all seek validation in some way or another. And, sometimes this validation is from strangers. Perhaps we don’t all desire to continue to be hit on after we’re already married or told we’re sexy, but really how is that any different from tweeting something especially insightful and anxiously waiting to see how many retweets you get or telling a small joke at the end of a staff meeting and smiling to yourself after making a few people laugh? In each case, you did something to garner an insignificant response that made you feel a little better about your day. Why is one “better” than the other? Oh yeah. Because seeking and receiving brain-based validation is “better” than seeking and receiving beauty-based validation. Beauty-based validation—basically, validation based on something completely superficial and completely out of your control—is shallow, while brain based validation means you did something that anyone could have potentially done, but you just did it better. Makes perfect sense until you realize this is bullshit as well. Just as some people were born with more beauty-related gifts that others—natural curves, defined cheekbones, symmetric faces, clear skin, perfect teeth, etc—some of us were born with more brain-based gifts. Maybe you were born with an above average IQ. Maybe you learned to read at two. Maybe you’re able to do complex equations in your head while others need calculators. Maybe you’ve always had an advanced verbal intelligence, and you’ve always been the funniest and wittiest person in the room. Either way, these are positive traits you really had absolutely nothing to do with. Sure, you went to school and read books and shit to enhance what you were already given, but all you did was enhance what you were already given. Your hard work didn’t give you those talents. Your mommy and daddy did. In this context, taking an architecture class to maintain and build on an already advanced spatial intelligence is no different than staying fit and using a skin regiment to maintain and build on your natural looks. Obviously, there are people who managed to make themselves smarter through hard work, persistence, and will. But even they started somewhere and were more equipped to grow intellectually than someone born with even less intellectual gifts. Everyone has a range. Some ranges are just more expansive than others. (For instance, I was born with a decent amount of smarts and natural athletic ability, but regardless of how many books I read, games of 24 I played, or weights I lifted, I had no chance of being Stephen Hawking or Lebron James.) I’m not saying we should stop praising people for their brains. Just that praising a person who was already born smart for their wit is really just as “shallow” as heaping blessings on their booty. —Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

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Your Daily digest for Blog Chicks

Blog Chicks Australian Women Bloggers

July Meetup – Graphic Arts Club Mascot Jul 17th 2013, 00:10, by Leigh This week we hosted our fifth Blog Chicks lunch at the Graphic Arts Club in Mascot. It was great to catch up with so many of you! Our lunch chicks included: Fiona from Little Lioness Kendall from Kindness by Design Lisa from Tomorrow’s Family Organiser Sonja from Pender Lea Trish from Teach This Plus Leigh and Rah of course! Discussion this time was more business orientated than it has been at previous lunches – lots of talk about monetisation, strategy, (re)development, and diversification. Rah frantically took notes for you all! We shared our thoughts on sponsored posts and three bloggers in particular were named for doing this really well on their blogs: My Beauty Bunny Fat Mum Slim Woogsworld We also spoke about giveaways and the value of using them to try to increase your reach (particularly Facebook likes). Two sites were mentioned for being great for giveaway promotion: Win Free Stuff Three Lil Princesses and Rafflecopter was recommended for running giveaways. Some other resources that were mentioned and recommended: Aussie entrepreneur Yaro Starek Another Aussie entrepreneur Brad Sugars Tech video series Digitwirl As we said at the end of lunch, we really enjoyed having such a lovely group of blogging chicks join us. It was great to spend a good 3-4 hours talking about the nitty gritties of blogging and business. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us all! The next Blog Chicks lunch is being held on Sunday 11 August at San Churro, Penrith Plaza. Come and join us in the ‘riff to get a sugar hit while talking about blogging. Hope to see you there!

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Ask Dan and Jennifer: How To Make Car Sex More Comfortable

Ask Dan and Jennifer Love and Sex Videos, Tips & Advice from Ask Dan and Jennifer

How To Make Car Sex More Comfortable Jul 17th 2013, 13:17, by Dan & Jennifer Comfortably having sex in your car can be pretty difficult depending on the kind of car that you drive. Whether you drive a stick shift, SUV or a 4-door sedan, there isn't much room for comfort. Luckily, there are a few moves that you can use to make car sex much easier and much more comfortable for the both of you. Here are a few ideas to help make car sex more comfortable. Get A Blanket There are a few reasons that you need to use a blanket for car sex. The first season is that no matter what kind of interior you have, it's going to get uncomfortable very quickly. Cloth can cause irritation of the skin and leather is going to stick to your body once you start to sweat. By using a blanket you can combat these irritations. Try to use a blanket that is going to cover the entire backseat. If you aren't going to use the backseat, put the blanket down anyway. This will be much more comfortable on your body. The second reason you want to use a blanket is for ejaculate. People have to sit there and they don't want to sit in your stuff. Sex has a way of getting out of control sometimes so you need to take the necessary precautions and put down a barrier. Put The Seats Down If You Can Not all cars will let you do this, but if you can, put the back seat down. SUVs are the best for this. By putting the seats down you're going to get more room to maneuver around. One of the primary concerns with car sex is the fact that there is not much room to work with. This can inhibit the different types of sex positions you will be able to use. By putting the seats down you will be able to sprawl out and use a multitude of sex positions. If you can't put the seats down in the back, push the seats in the front all the way back to give you a little more room. Most cars will allow you to push the seats back fairly far so take advantage of this. Some people like to even forgo the backseat and simply use the passenger and driver's seats. This is all dependent on the type of car that you have. Comfort is key. The last thing you want is to get really close to that special moment and then get a cramp in your leg. Use The Hood For Car Sex I know that we're supposed to be talking about having sex in a car, but the hood counts, right? The hood of the car can be one of the best places to have car sex. You can stretch out and get a lot of different sex positions out of it. Doggy Style, Missionary and girl on top are just a few that you can use when you are having sex on the hood of the car. Be sure to wait a little while before you use the hood. It can get pretty hot while you're driving and you might run the risk of burning your girlfriend's back if you use it too fast. You can also open the tailgate if you have an SUV. This gives you more room and you can use different sex positions. Make sure that you're in a secluded area before you have sex on the hood of your car or with an open tailgate. Park rangers and campers have a way of sneaking up on people so cover your bases. Utilize Oral Sex So many people think about traditional car sex, but they fail to see the convenience of oral sex. A car is the perfect place to have oral sex because it puts both parties into a position to give and receive. Many guys love when their girlfriends give them road head. This is just as good, except you don't have to worry about running off the road. For girls it's just as good. Have your guy put the driver's seat all the way back and then climb on top of him. Get him to eat you out while you lean up against the steering wheel. Just make sure that you aren't pressed up against the horn. The post How To Make Car Sex More Comfortable appeared first on Ask Dan and Jennifer.

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Your 12 hourly digest for Very Smart Brothas

Very Smart Brothas

One Woman's Fear That "Wedding Ring" = "No More Random Male Attention…EVER!" Jul 17th 2013, 04:13, by The Champ ***Hello, everyone. Please welcome Chris E. to the VSB pulpit. Since this is her first time, I added a few notes under some of her words to, um, help her out. Who said I wasn't a gentleman?*** All the excitement of "when is he going to call?", "I know what this text says literally, but when I stare at it long enough…", and "why are you hiding in my car?" is done. Over. I jumped the broom into a new world of interaction with men: cordiality, appropriateness, and respect. I am a wife now, a southern preacher's wife at that. To be admired quietly from afar, left alone with my #turndownforthis stone on my wedding band. It's lovely and mildly terrifying knowing I'll only hear Rick James' "Cold Blooded" ad libs from one man for the rest of my life. ***So yeah. It's quite difficult to pull off a full paragraph humblebrag—it took me three and a half years to learn how to do it—but Chris E. managed to land it on her first try. Wow. Good job, grasshopper. Also, is it bad that I still have absolutely no idea what any of these "turn down" references mean? Panama tried to explain it to me a couple weeks ago, but I got distracted by a video of someone twerking on a mailbox and tuned him out.*** I'm a former waitress, nightclub bartender, and Oakland resident—a city where ninjas will hop outta moving bus window for the number on you. ***From what I've heard about Oakland, I'm pretty sure they're just making sure you recycle. And, by "making sure you recycle" I mean "asking if you strip."*** Although I've never been dependent on it for validation, those factors made me accustomed to a lot of male attention. I live for the spectacular conversation that comes with being approached. As a screenwriter, it's a fantastic dialogue resource. I could never come up with Too $hort banishing me from a domino game then walking across the Coliseum parking lot to inform me I put too much mustard on my hot dog on my own. What if seeing my ring suddenly stops all the Playas from the Himalayas from ever speaking up? ***You're actually the first woman I've heard complain about this. Most I've talked to seem to consider the whole "guys won't approach me as often if they see the ring" thing a good thing.*** A married man's ring comes with the freak train station magnetic field. They instantly look ten times more desirable! My husband gets to motion with his left hand every other syllable in the pulpit and I have to deal with the women who lust for nothing more than their sanctified pastor. How do I stunt on the hoochie visitors if I don't feel I'm still batting 1000? Can I look forward to keeping my lips pursed on these crows if my only extramarital affirmation of attractiveness from the opposite sex is an elder's church hug? I'm used to being greeted with "SH*T! GOTDAMN!" Now it's "Good morning, Sista, so nice to see you, be blessed, tell Pastor thank you for the message." ***”Boo f*cking hoo.” — says every single Black woman ever. Seriously though, I have always wondered how married couples deal with that dynamic. Generally speaking, as men age and gain more social/financial status, our romantic options tend to increase. The opposite tends to happen with women. (Not always, but often) I can imagine that being a potential strain on a decades-long relationship.*** If this the real reason why Meagan Good wore that blue dress to the BET Awards, I totally get it. ***I get it too. In fact, I have a gallery of those pics saved to Google drive for those late nights when I'm not sure if I've still gotten it.*** Hearing "you're beautiful" from same person all the time, who's like, supposed to tell you that even when you're looking like Gina at Martin's high school reunion, requires a level of self-awareness on a whole nother frequency. I don't know if I'm that self-aware. I need to be guided by feedback. Roars of applause before my boobs drop it lower than I can without being told on would be much appreciated. I don't want to reach that Nicole Ari Parker peak wife fineness and be completely oblivious, realizing years later in a clawing panic. ***The saddest thing in life is wasted talent.*** If this is why Rasheeda made a video for "Hit It From The Back" while pregnant with dancers too uncomfortable to touch her while she rapped about fire coming out her asshole, I totally understand. Newlywed neurosis has me buggin. I keep fearing I'll turn into the wild auntie that makes everyone nervous at cookouts from unsolicited compliment deprivation. I live in a small town in Arkansas where street harassment is nonexistent… I can't get a simple "smile, girl!" walking past a bum. I think about my friends and I celebrating our 30th birthday next year and tense up cause I'm not tryna be hit with the "why are you married in the club?!" diss. ***You do realize that this last paragraph gives concrete justification to all the guys who believe women actually appreciate (and need) street harassment, don't you?" I'm just sayin.*** I don't wanna be a dime deferred, a ragged raisin solely adored by vows and obligation. Just a flattering echo outside the home, a lil tug on my figurative bra strap, enough to know I still got it. All I ask. A bachelorette party performer named Hena C has traumatized me for eternity. I can't seek that in strippers. ***"A Dime Deferred" is definitely a great title to a movie staring Monica Calhoun and Ron Artest that I'd never, ever, ever watch.*** Does it make a married woman insecure to enjoy hearing objective baritone fawning every once in a while? ***Yes. But, join the club.*** Where is the line drawn between post-matrimonial fun and post-matrimonial out of pocket? ***You can find more of Chris E. at Christina Wrote That or at some random southern church being subtlety side-eyed because she didn't know all the words to Goin Up a Yonder***

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Ask Dan and Jennifer: 4 Sizzling Sex Games To Try Tonight

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